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Monday, March 26, 2007

Random Pre-Final Four - Opening Day Notes



OK, OK. Michael Irvin is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, but out as ESPN commentator? It's a deal. WTF, at least the HOF doesn't broadcast blabbering bullshit into my living room on a weekly basis. How I'm going to understand TO now, without his personal mouthpiece pontificating from his bully(bullshit?) pulpit, I don't know.

Reminds me of the old lawyer joke though. You know the one. What's 1,000 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean? (Answer: A good start). Well, this is merely a good start by the Worldwide Leader. A necessary spring cleaning.

Theismann out of MNF, another nice touch. Ron Jaworski as replacement is a nice upgrade. You don't have to worry aboout Jaws being dull on air, or too exciting off the air. Plus, seeing him and hearing his voice is a constant reminder of LT coming off the corner and blindsidng his ass. It would be like how Eagle fans would feel if Joe Pisarcik were the new analyst. Hey, those are the breaks. At least Herman Edwards is still coaching, right? So it evens out.

But let's get serious ESPN. Let's really roll up our sleeves and go all the way. There's not anyone roaming the halls in Bristol,CT or cleaning the stalls for that matter, who has more knowledge and camera presence than Jeff Brantley? He should be next. And Kruk too for that matter. I'm not seeing the appeal or feeling the knowledge. Orestes Destrade seems ready to move up to the big club.

And how about Doug Gottlieb? How many more lunches have to mysteriously dissapear from the employee lounge fridge before ESPN security puts two and two together? How much loose change has to be pilfered from hard-working, lower level employees desks before justice is done once and for all?

And how can the good women employees of ESPN feel safe from sexual harassment? You throw them the bone of the Harold Reynolds firing yet leave the carcass of Sean Salisbury and his wonder-cell-phone? Qu'elle charade!!

Oh well, on to the Final Four Front. Team Slavik has 3 of the Final Four and had 6 of the Elite Eight and still sits 16 out of 32 brackets in the company pool. That's a tough pool. I'm glad I don't gamble, at least not with my own money (sorry honey).

You gotta love the Cubs chances this year, huh? I mean who'd have guessed that Mark Prior and Kerry Wood would open the season on the DL? What are the odds? They both seemed so healthy and with such immaculate past medical records. Hey, they've come so close to a century of futility, why mess it up now, who knows when you might get an opportunity to be a part of this type of history of futility again? Go Cubs.




Are Jeter and A-Rod still dating? TLF, right? Pre-pubescent girls talk about and stress over not sleeping over their friends house, not major league MVP candidates. OMG!! At least you know these two guys are not on the juice, too much estrogen here. And what's with Mussina v. Pavano and the little hissy cat-fight these guys have going on? Old-time Yankees are spinning in their graves. Back in the day, there would be a little clubhouse dust-up, or even better an on-field brouhaha, and the combatants would go out, have a beer and it would be over. Now, everyone wants to get in front of a microphone and talk about their problems with Dr. Phil. Sometimes, old-school is better. I guess violence is never the answer, except maybe when it beats the alternative. Go Yankees.



Devil Rays in the World Series by 2010? That would be too cool and yet somehow maybe plausible? Possibly improving to possible if some things go right. Still a frontline ace pitcher and a stud closer away, at least. But they're young enough and talented enough and gosh darn it, people like them. Go Devil Rays.

My pre-season Divison winner predictions:
NL East: Mets
NL Central: Cardinals
NL West: Dodgers
Wild Card: Giants

Al East: Yankees
AL Central: Tigers
AL West: Angels
Wild Card: Indians

World Series: Giants vs. Yankees
World Series Winner: Giants

Over/Under on Bonds breaking Aaron's record: September 3rd.

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