ESPN & Woody Paige Sued for Harrassment

Oh Lord, who saw this coming? My money was on Salisbury to be the next in the long line of serial harassers at the WWLIS, but how could I not have seen that a guy who goes by the name "Woody" would be the one? STUPID. STUPID. STUPID.

http://www.newsday.com/news/local/wire/newyork/ny-bc-ny--espn-sexualharass0628jun28,0,3810487.story?coll=ny-region-apnewyork

NEW YORK -- A woman who worked on the set of the ESPN talk show "Cold Pizza" is suing the sports network, claiming she was fired after complaining about sexual harassment by the shows host and one of its regular panelists.

In the suit, Bronx makeup artist Rita Ragone said she was pinched and fondled by sports commentator Woody Paige and subjected to crude sexual comments by ESPN host Jay Crawford at the shows studio in Manhattan.

Ragone claimed Paige once grabbed her backside so forcefully, she was "propelled forward and into the air."

I hate to sound skeptical about such a serious matter, but the claim that Paige grabbed her so forcefully that she was "propelled forward and into the air" sounded a little over the top.

So I got to thinking........How could I find out for sure if these charges are true or not?......HMMMMMMM........Perhaps find a place where there are a pool of women that one could scientifically test our hypothesis that:

It is physically possible to grab a woman with sufficient thrust and lift forces that one could reasonably expect to propel said woman in both the horizontal and vertical plane.





Just imagine the amount of forces that would be involved. That would be one heck of a STRONG ass-grab, don't you think?

First problem, where would we find a place that would have such a pool of women? We need a sufficient number of test subjects to insure data pool is large enough to be statistically significant.

Dang, Hooters, of course. The girls there are likely the most experienced in receiving such forceful grabs as described in the allegation, so there would not be a long learning curve. Plus, the women there seem to be of a sleeker, lighter weight design then the average woman, so if we err, we err on the side of the accuser, not Mr. Paige.

I mean if these subjects couldn't be propelled forward, it would be that much harder to send a Two Ton Tessie into a low earth orbit. Logical.





So off we went to test the hypothesis. Isn't science cool?

But first we decided that perhaps our level of pinch strength may not have been up to that of the subject Mr. Paige.

According to published studies measuring pinch strength and grip strength norms for adults, we find that we are about average in both.

None of the girls we tested left the ground on either the horizontal or vertical plane. NONE.

Some however did manage to squeal, giggle, grunt, moan, slap the tester back and complain to security. None of the girls tested gave up a phone number, address, my space page, IM address or in any way shape or form indicated that the slap or pinch was enough provocation to inspire said woman to desire to continue the relationship from its pathetic and feeble beginnings.

LET THIS BE A LESSON TO US ALL. We therefore reject the hypothesis that: It is physically possible to grab a woman with sufficient thrust and lift forces that one could reasonably expect to propel said woman in both the horizontal and vertical plane and reject it as fact. I LOVE SCIENCE.