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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

IS ERIN ANDREWS A PED?



As in pedophile, NO, NO. Unless you're counting some interviews at the Little League World Series. Those youngsters clearly looked uncomfortable and somewhat confused by their feelings towards the lovely Erin. Sort of like when someone puts ICYHOT in your jockstrap. Or even better, she makes them feel kinda funny, like when they used to climb the rope in gym class. (Gratuitous Movie Reference: From what Movie? Aswer below)

However, at the NCAA level, she seems to be eliciting heightened levels of performance enhancement among collegiate level athletes just by virtue of her mere presence and somewhat tactile interviewing techniques.

This story, from the blog "Awful Announcing", documents a couple of examples recently where clearly Ms. Andrews had effect on collegiate athletes that are normally associated with PED use.

Not that there's anything wrong with that....Let's face it, I would worry more about the student-athlete who performed better after being interviewed by Jay Bilas or Digger Phelps than Erin Andrews, but that's just how I roll, homey.

I hear that if you drool when she sticks that phallic symbol of a microphone in front of you, that she openly questions your sexuality behind the scenes with her fellow announcers, producers and technicians. So there is a little stress on the youngsters, a perverse sort of reverse-Pavlovian phenomena on display, if you will. ESPN, you are cruel, sadistic bastards.
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http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/2008/01/erin-andrews-is-fueling-college.html

First it was Pat White getting a hug and a peck on the check, now it's MSU Guard Drew Nietzel who is benefiting from the Erin Andrews "touch". The Senior guard got to talk with Ms. Andrews for 15 minutes or so before the Spartans game last Tuesday against Ohio State. And while Drew says the talk "helped" him, it also made his teammates very jealous....

Neitzel, however, talked to Andrews for about 15 minutes during the pre-game shoot-around and all he did is score eight of MSU's first nine points (Naymick opened the game by making one of two foul shots) on 3-for-5 shooting including two 3-pointers, get a rebound and a steal for a quick triple-single.

"All the other guys were kind of jealous," Neitzel said. "I was pretty pumped up after talking to her. She gave me that little boost that I needed, I guess."

A "little boost" huh? Riiiight. Seriously though, if I was a College Coach I would hire Erin Andrews to give speeches to certain players before big games. She could make a fortune giving mini pep talks.

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Maybe Congress has to get involved before this corrupting influence on our nations youth continues to ply its trade through the entire NCAA? Who will protect the children?

Note - Perhaps the WWLIS simply needs to put a little dose of salt-peter in the drinking fountains around Bristol, CT. Maybe if they had, Harold Reynolds would still be on Baseball Tonight and the human tragedy wrought by the Salisbury cell phone could have been avoided.

ANSWER TO GRATUITOUS MOVIE REFERENCE: Wayne's World - Garth Algar: That is a babe. She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.

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