PATRIOTS CONTINUE TO MESS WITH THE INJURY REPORT

Coach Bellicheat characteristically taunted the assembled media scribes by letting them know that the Pats injury report would be released for their amusement on Wednesday January 30th as prescribed by the league and not a moment sooner.

Fortunately, we have obtained, from unidentified league sources, the following advance information--submitted by the team--regarding the Patriots starting QB Tom Brady.

Player - Brady, Tom
Position - QB
Injuries or Conditions of Note - Priapism (not responding to treatment), Partially torn testicle (left or non-throwing side), Sebaceous Cyst (not responding to treatment, considerable build-up), minor bladder control issues (season-long condition), Partially dislocated penis (not responding to treatment).
Status: Probable

It's clear that Coach Bellicheat treats the injury report as useless fodder for gamblers and degenerates and simply does not treat it with quite the reverence that the NFL would like.

He's going to play folks. And when the Giants win, the media will treat his dalliances with the "super-model du jour" in much the same manner as Tony Romo's trip to Mexico with his "trophy girlfriend". Which is to say, not very harshly.

Anyway, that twinkle in Brady's eye when he throws a pick is sure to be some off-week flashback to his "date" with whomever he was bringing the flowers to. I say shack up all week Tom, hell don't practice at all, I wouldn't. Show them you are Tom-F**king-Brady and you can do whatever you want. The reports from "the field" regarding Brady's comings and goings sure beat seeing that insufferable "Fourth Brady Boy" vignette that ESPN keeps nauseating us with. Although I could see Marcia getting pounded in the honker with that weak FB toss, all day long. HAHAHA. Like that toss would have caused the kind of swelling they showed later, maybe if she got hit with a baseball bat. I can't believe we bought into that episode. Oh well, we were young.

Anyway, Giants 35 Patriots 34, just so that there is an everlasting reminder to young Tom as to where his focus was, and where it should have been.

Then, after Eli is named Super Bowl MVP, the national sports focus and debate can shift from who is the NFL's biggest slut QB, Romo or Brady, to who is the alpha male in the Manning family, Peyton or Eli?