I (HEART) BUSTER POSEY??

OMG, have you seen this guy?
The Giants first round draft-pick?
OMG, He's like totally awesome.

CHECK OUT HIS VIDEO ON MINORLEAGUEBASEBALL.COM
http://web.minorleaguebaseball.com/milb/events/draft_report/y2008/index.jsp?mc=posey

He plays for the the Florida State Seminoles.
And they're going to OMAHA.
That's like the World Series for college players, dude.
So he's playing in the College World Series.
And Buster's not his for-real name, it's like a nickname, but it's kind of cool.
And he's like 6-2, 200 lbs, OMG. 6-2.....

And he plays all nine positions on the field.
Which, like, pisses off Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon.
Which, incidentally, is another reason to like him, OMG.

SEE PTI RANT - I USED TO LIKE THIS SHOW - BUT NOT ANYMORE



These guys are just jealous because they can't play nine positions
like Buster Posey can
And they're not 6-2 and 200 lbs.
like Buster Posey is
And they're not in the College World Series.
like Buster Posey is....

So, I think I (heart) Buster Posey, already, and technically, he's not even a Giant.
OMG, do you think he likes us???
I hope so.
I hope we sign him.
I heard he wants $12 million dollars, just to sign.
OMG, I think we should give him like, $12 hundred million dollars.

I hear that, he was going to be the very first pick, by the Devil Rays, but they didn't have $12 million dollars, do they tried to find someone who would work cheaper.
WAY TO GO DEVIL RAYS!!!!
THEY'RE SO STUPID!!!!

It's weird, when I see FSU play now and Posey comes to bat, it's like this song becomes the soundtrack in my head:



I hope that doesn't make me GAY!!
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I mean, we are talking about Buster Posey, right?
I think my wife is getting angry and jealous already.
Or maybe that "Why don't you just change your name to Mrs. Buster Posey?" crack was meant to be a joke.
Or maybe I am mentioning his name a bit too much.

OMG, I wasn't always this mental, but being a Giant fan lately is killing me.

It used to be so easy. I mean we always had a superstar player to hold onto. So even though we weren't winning World Series--which is the whole point of playing, I'm told--we could always point to that one guy and say "yeah, but we have (fill in the blank)". And now we don't have that guy anymore. Let's review:

GIANTS HISTORY OF STARDOM IN MY SPORTS FANATIC LIFETIME:
1965-71 Willie Mays
1972-74 Bobby Bonds
1975-76 Bobby Murcer (traded for Bonds-WTF were they thinking-drinking?)
1977-84 Jack Clark
1985 Jeffrey Leonard (One Flap Down)
1986-93 Will "The Thrill" Clark
1993-07 Barry Bonds
2008 NOTHING, NADA, BUPKUS

If you look at it, this is only the third year in the last FORTY TWO or FORTY THREE YEARS I've been a fan, that we didn't have a bona-fide, every-day player as a hitting star.

OK, so maybe I'm on the rebound as a fan. Feeling like a middle-aged, newly-minted divorcee, thrust back into the dating pool, after the Bonds years. Maybe I don't know how to act anymore, or what to look for. Am I being to easy, or should I play hard to get?

I don't know any of THE RULES anymore. This sucks, life is SO HARD.

Oh, don't get me wrong, Aaron Rowand is so cute and bless his heart, he'd run through a wall for you. He's going to make some fan REALLY, REALLY happy someday. But he doesn't scare anybody with his bat. And neither does Bengie Molina. And I need a super-star who carries a big bat....wait a minute, let me re-phrase that....Aw hell, you know what I mean.

You know, from 1965 to 1971, we had Willie Mays. As a fan, how would you like to be walking down the street with that on your arm, huh? The ultimate shut-up to the other teams front-running fans. Those were great years. We were all so happy.

Then Willie left, he had to go to New York. He didn't really want to go and we didn't want to let him go either, but Horace Stoneham was drunk one night or had some financial problems or something and like a really evil step-dad, he sold Willie to the Mets....3,000 miles away....so we couldn't see him anymore. And all we got was some cash and Charlie Williams, a two-bit pitcher in return. CHARLIE WILLIAMS!!! I can't be seen with a Charlie Williams. And the cash part just made being a Giant fan feel dirty or something. Selling our best players for money to the rich teams, like we were a bunch of two-bit whores.

But we did have Bobby Bonds. The next Willie Mays, we were told. And boy did he look it...at first. I mean he could run and throw and hit and field pretty much like Willie.
And did you see the body on that guy?
OMG, dude was chiseled.
And this was before baseball dudes were supposed to be chiseled.
But you always got the feeling something was wrong. Maybe we were in denial and somewhat on the rebound then as well... still not quite over Willie....so we didn't quite see the signs....or we ignored them in the name of convenience....Like when you were dating that hot chick and you kinda sensed she was psycho....but the SEX was wild so you ignored the fact that you just might wake up some morning with a screwdriver driven into your neck or a hatchet embedded in your skull.

So eventually, Bobby had to go too....to another team, the Yankees....for Bobby Murcer.....Tell me that wasn't humiliating? But Bobby was never the same as when he was with us. Which is a form of redemption, but it still was painful to see him struggle.

And all we got back was Bobby Murcer. Bobby Freaking Murcer. Don't get me wrong, great guy and OMG he tried so hard to please, but he brought his over-inflated 30 HR per year stats, hitting half the time into the short porch in RF that was Yankee Stadium, into real-man sized ballparks and the guy couldn't break 10-15 homers per season. Qu'elle disappointment!!!!!

Life was messed up then, we were kind of confused. The only thing we had to hold onto was the pitching staff. We had Montefusco and D'Acquisto and Halicki. But damn it boys, these guys were pitchers.
Who's the guy we're going to root for every day?
Where was the big stick in the lineup?
This was the team of Mays and McCovey.
Hell, we might have settled for another Jim Ray Hart.

1975 and 76 were some pretty sorry years to be a Giant fan, I can tell you that. Much like today.

Then along came Jack Clark. The way he hit, they called him "Jack the Ripper". Now that's the kind of guy, with the kind of nickname, that you could just wrap your arms around and hold onto for a few years.
And all was well from 1977-1984...
With Jack....

But then Jack left. I'm not sure where Jack went. But I do remember he had some good years with the Cardinals, and that was nice. We were actually kind of happy for him really. But when he went to the Dodgers, and I knew he wasn't coming back. Good riddance.....we couldn't take him back after he'd been with THEM!!!

So in 1985, we had a brief but productive fling with Jeffrey Leonard, who took us to the playoffs.....titillated us with his "One flap down" home-run trot...and then he was gone....quicker than a one night stand really.....But it was OK.... Really, it was. Because he was just keeping the seat warm for the new kid.

Will "The Thrill" Clark came to the big club from Mississippi State, to take us through the 80's and into the 90's. From 1986 to 1993, with that sweet-swinging Cajun, all was right again as a fan.
Will sure gave us some good years, boy...
he could really hit.....
but once he started to lose it...
he just didn't fit in amongst cosmopolitan San Francisco anymore....
Somehow his Cajun, tobacco-spittin' ways stood out like a sore thumb....
Funny, didn't seem so weird when he was hitting well.....
And so....The Thrill...was soon gone....

Once again, we tried to to find the ultimate hitting machine. And we did, in Pittsburgh, toiling for the Pirates, but longing to come home and make his name with the Giants....BARRY LAMAR BONDS.

So briefly in 1993, we actually had Barry Bonds and Will Clark in the same lineup. Can you believe it? BARRY BONDS AND WILL CLARK. At the same time.
But you knew it couldn't last....
It's like a three-some with you and two red-hot, super-models.....
who used to be gymnasts.....
great while it lasted, but you knew it wasn't going to last for long...
something had to give.....
So old Will had to go play for Texas and later, the Cardinals.
He never really looked the same in those uniforms as he did when he was with us though.
He really didn't hit that well, either.
Seemed kind of old and used up.
HEHEHEHEHE.

The last fifteen years (has it really been fifteen years?) were some of the best years a Giant fan ever had, in spite of what the outside world tried to make us think.

A World Series appearance, a near decade long dominance of the Dodgers.
Oh yes, that was such sweet icing on the cake.
Everything but a World Series Championship, I suppose.
And so, as Giants fans, we keep looking...

You see, something about being a Giants player...
there's a history of greatness....
A legacy to uphold and build upon.

Which brings us back to Draft Day and Buster Posey.

Do you think Buster Posey will fit into this legacy?

Apparently his college coach thinks so, this from FSU coach Martin on Poseys' chances of making it in the bigs:

"I've never been so sure of something in my life," Martin Jr. said. "He is a classic inside-out hitter, a Derek Jeter type, who really gets inside the ball and makes a lot of solid contact. That's what I tell people, he's Jason Varitek behind the plate and he's Derek Jeter as a hitter, and I really believe that."

HOLY HOT HANNAH!!!! PART JASON VARITEK, PART DEREK JETER????

CUE THE MUSIC FELLAS, I'M CONVINCED!!!!