BENGIE MOLINA IS STUPID

It seems as if the arrival of rookie Pablo Sandoval (pictured above) has rankled veteran Giants catcher Bengie Molina. Molina feels like the Giants are allowing Pablo Sandoval to become Barry Zito's personal catcher. The fact that Zito has been pitching better in the four starts in which Sandoval was the catcher seems to be lost on Molina.

"It is a personal catcher whether they say that or not," Molina told the San Francisco Chronicle. "I'm not happy at all...If they don't consider me a No. 1 catcher, or I can't catch the No.1 guy on the staff, let me know. I ain't stupid. I don't think I've ever been stupid."

OK, Bengie. Since the Giants appear to not have the nads to spell it out for you, then I will.

BENGIE. YOU ARE STUPID.

I mean, let's speak honestly here. What Giant games have you been watching the last couple of years? Have you been hit in the head with too many foul balls? Barry Zito is not the Giants "No. 1 guy on the staff" and hasn't been since the arrival of Tim Lincecum. Unless you measure the No. 1 guy on the basis of salary alone and totally ignore performance.

And if you do that, Bengie, I would submit that as evidence that you are stupid. Very much so.

Further, let me school you on some more of the proverbial handwriting that's on the wall there, champ. You might not be the No.1 catcher for very long. So don't worry so much about who the No.1 pitcher is around Team Gigantes. The winds of change are blowing all around the Giants depth chart. A shitty won-loss record will do that.

Sandoval gives the Giants pretty much everything a Bengie Molina does except experience. And there's only one way for him to get that.

You are 5-11, 225 he's 5-11, 245. The stat lines are similar.

Molina .287 AVG-13 HR-86 RBI-.747 OPS-7% K RATE-3.5% BB RATE
Sandoval .330 AVG-3 HR-15 RBI-.836 OPS-9% K RATE-4% BB RATE

Pretty similar across the board. You do have those Gold Gloves and I respect that, but really how many extra wins per season is that worth? Plus, have you seen the price of gold lately?

Sandoval is also a switch-hitter and that may help bring in a few more fans. We do seem to have more switch-hitters than almost every team in the league, so he'll fit in just nicely with the rest of the lineup. Not that there's anything wrong with you not being a switch-hitter and all.

From a pure economics standpoint, if player Sandoval can give the team the same stats as player Molina, and Sandoval makes nearly $6 million dollars less than Molina, well you understand the business side of the game, right Bengie? It's nothing personal.

Plus we have this guy you've probably been hearing a lot about, guy named Posey. First round draft-pick, All-American boy type, plays your position. cant miss prospect.

Aw, now wait a minute. Is that what this is about, Bengie? Is someone jealous?

Come on Bengie--Jealous and Stupid--that's no way to go through life. There's just no future in it.

Oh well. It's been nice knowing you, Bengie. Really it has.

But hey, just a couple more words to the wise:

1) NO LONG-TERM LEASES. SHORT-TERM MAY BE A BETTER WAY TO GO IN THESE UNCERTAIN ECONOMIC TIMES.

2) DON'T IDENTIFY THE WORST STARTING PITCHER ON THE STAFF AS THE #1 GUY. IT STRAINS YOUR CREDIBILITY AS A CATCHER.

3) DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU IN THE ASS ON THE WAY OUT.