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Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Larger Lessons from Tiger Woods / Michael Vick fall from grace (and possible redemption)


IT SEEMS FAIRLY EASY, RIGHT?!? - TEN SIMPLE RULES TO FOLLOW. - WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!?

If we review both cases, we can see from the stunning story lines of both athletes rise and fall from grace a similar, oft-repeated path in their lives--a road-map if you will--that can provide some larger life lessons for those who deal in sports at the youth level.

Sometimes, these negative stories can provide valuable examples of what we need to look out for and prepare for to prevent similar occurrences in the future.

We preach how sports participation can help provide a moral framework for parents to pass on to our children and yet we hear the arguments over whether participation in sports DEVELOPS character or whether it in fact REVEALS character. A nature/nurture type of debate.

Some of the research coming out has pointed in the direction that--in the early stages of participation at the youth level--sports can be a valuable tool to teach strong values that kids can use throughout their lives. As athletes travel further and further up the ladder into the professional ranks however, these values are eroded and deteriorate.

We need to find out why this happens so we can figure out how to avoid this erosion and deterioration in the future. We can't of continually bang our heads against the wall in frustration, continually doing the same things over and over and expecting different results (definition of INSANITY alert).

I submit that the examples provided in the Michael Vick and Tiger Woods sagas provide classic, text book examples of how we get into this mess and how we can get out.


CONFORMING TO THE WORLD'S VIEW OF RIGHT AND WRONG SEEMS TO LEAK IN - TIME AND AGAIN. - RIGHT ?!?

In Michael Vick's example, we find that when Tony Dungy began his involvement with Vick he asked him point-blank "Where was the Lord when all this was happening?"

Vick's respose was very telling.

http://www.bpsports.net/bpsports.asp?ID=6088

Dungy said Vick told him about going to church almost every week with his mother in Virginia and knowing there was a God. He said Vick talked to God while growing up and continued to pray during college at Virginia Tech.

But when he finally made it to the NFL with the Atlanta Falcons, his faith and his life took a turn for the worse.

"Michael said he felt God had answered his prayers by getting into the NFL and maybe he didn't really need Him anymore."

Let's review the key points:

- In the early years, he had a strong value system in place.

- As he advanced, he drifted away from that value system.

- He felt he didn't need it anymore once he reached a certain level.


Now we see that Michael Vick is continuing on the proper path and hopefully he will stay on this path the rest of his life.

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/at-super-bowl-breakfast-michael-vick-talks-about-faith

Vick spoke standing beside Dungy before 1,100 fans, in his first-ever retelling of the role faith played in his life at the maximum security prison in Leavenworth, Kansas.

"I wanted to redeem myself," Vick said. “Pre-incarceration, it was all about me. When I got to prison, I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. The one thing I could rely on was my faith in God."
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From the Tiger Woods apology:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/02/19/tiger.woods.transcript/index.html

I knew my actions were wrong. But I convinced myself that normal rules didn't apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I thought only about myself. I ran straight through the boundaries that a married couple should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn't have far -- didn't have to go far to find them.

I was wrong. I was foolish. I don't get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself. I hurt my wife, my kids, my mother, my wife's family, my friends, my foundation, and kids all around the world who admired me.

I've had a lot of time to think about what I have done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It is now up to me to make amends. And that starts by never repeating the mistakes I have made. It is up to me to start living a life of integrity.
I once heard -- and I believe it is true -- it's not what you achieve in life that matters, it is what you overcome. Achievements on the golf course are only part of setting an example. Character and decency are what really count. Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all of those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.


Part of following this path for me is Buddhism, which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Buddhist, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously, I lost track of what I was taught.

Again, virtually the same story,

- Once he got to a certain level of success, the value system eroded and he became disconnected from them.

"I knew my actions were wrong. But I convinced myself that normal rules didn't apply."

"Obviously, I lost track of what I was taught"

- He became self-centered.

"I thought only about myself."

- He was able to justify his behavior to himself because of who he was and what he accomplished.

"I ran straight through the boundaries that a married couple should live by. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me."



We hear a lot about how important these guys are as role models to kids and how sports participation itself is important to kids growth and development. Then we get these rich, powerful teaching moments and what are the top issues the MSM puts the focus on?

- Why wasn't the media allowed to ask questions?

Who cares? Irrelevant!! And yet, that was one of the lead issues these whiny babies brought to the fore. Why were we left out?

- A lot of useless speculation on what he said, what he didn't say, what he should have said, what he was wearing, not wearing, blah,blah,blah,blah,blah.

Who cares? Most of it useless, pointless speculation based on the talking-heads own biases and experiences. Sorry Chief, YOU ARE NOT Tiger Woods!!!

- A lot of useless speculation based on what Elin should do or not do.

Again who cares? That's between Elin and Tiger. I wish them the best of luck. It's pointless speculation from dim-witted talking heads who haven not heard her position in the first place and can not even do enough research to properly pronounce her name. But we should accept that they know exactly what she should or should not do, or will or will not do about such a personal matter. We don't care what you would do, YOU ARE NOT Elin Woods!!!

- The lack of acceptance of said apologies offered by the self-appointed heads of Forgiveness Nation (the MSM). In most cases, this is after the MSM hounds the athletes publicly to ISSUE an apology!!!

WOW!! How forgiving is that? The lame-stream media refuses to accept Tiger's apology since they didn't get a chance to run the inquisition...UH press conference. That's a good example to set for kids. Tiger crafts one of the most complete and comprehensive public apologies yet offered, when in fact--he only needs to apologize to his wife and family--and the media spits on it. Yeah buddy, that's where I want to get my values from--the mass media. Let's stop asking any of these guys to apologize publicly if the self-appointed representatives of public opinion are going to reject all of them. What do they want, for someone to come out and slit their own throats? Oh, wait a minute, that would probably help ratings, wouldn't it?

If they were really concerned about the effect that Tiger's actions had on fans or on the nations youth and anyone else foolish enough to IDOLIZE him or any other athlete (Charles Barkley looking smarter every day) then at least be concerned and intelligent enough to present the core issues that seem to be common and recurring every time the story is told.

- Don't forget who you are or where you came from.
- Don't compromise your values--they were good enough to get you there, they should be good enough to keep you there.
- Build your house on solid rock not on sand.
- Don't let the ways of the world change your value system.
- Your value system requires daily care and maintenance, no matter who you are and what you have accomplished. The high and mighty simply have further to fall.

I guess I expect too much out of the Mainstream Media. It seems so simple, really.

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