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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

'It's just missing teeth' or Why soccer will never be popular in America...


The Blackhawks' Duncan Keith slumps in pain after getting hit in the face with a puck Sunday during the second period. Keith lost seven teeth.

Photo and story from the Daily Herald:

You have to read this story from the Blackhawks finale versus the San Jose Sharks and maybe you will understand on a visceral level why soccer will never rise in popularity in this country above hockey, much less basketball, baseball, football or even auto racing.

Soccer star gets kicked in the shins, WHILE WEARING SHIN GUARDS, and writhes around on the ground in pain as if he was shot from the cheap seats, until the referee pulls out his red card, or green card or American Express card, or whatever, and then bounces up and continues play.

Well, here's my message to all the soccer-nazis who will no doubt begin their every fourth year assault on Americans who "just don't get soccer" like the rest of the more intelligent communistas in the world:

Americans appreciate toughness. We appreciate those who get up and go to work every day (like Cal Ripken) and play hurt and don't make excuses and fulfill their obligations to others (teammates).

We are not now, and will never be like Greece, so help me God!!

In no other sport in this country is faking injuries like a pansy rewarded or appreciated as part of the culture. Here we walk it off, we don't rub the spot when the pitcher drills us with a fastball. WE GOT ICE, BABY!!!! We applaud taking one for the team.

We don't even demonstrate such behavior in women's sports in this country, including your beloved soccer.

So you can keep your undying soccer love and your World Cup. We'll keep guys like Duncan Keith.

Photo and story from the Daily Herald:

http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=382957&src=149

John Madden estimated Duncan Keith's mouthguard flew 22 feet.

Taking a puck to the kisser from close range will do that to a guy.

"I knew right away. I took one breath and I felt like my whole mouth was missing," he said. "I saw a couple of them fall out and I had one I could feel in the back of my throat and I just coughed it out. A bunch of them disintegrated."

After missing about six minutes of play in the period, Keith was back on the ice to finish off the frame and the rest of the game.

He wouldn't have had it any other way, regardless of what the doctors had warned.

"No, I was (ticked) off," Keith said. "It's just missing teeth. It's a long way from the heart."

BTW, how tough must hockey dads be to produce kids like this? We make fun of Little League dad over here in the lower 50 sometimes for pushing kids too hard, but can you imagine what goes on at the local rinks across Canada?

"What are you crying for you big pansy? It's only a busted nose. The blood dries up. Get the heck out there and finish your shift. It's not like your missing a hand or anything.

Oh, you are? Son, you've got to stop making excuses for yourself. Get out there and shoot the puck left-handed or you are walking home."

What was that line about hockey-mom, a pit-bull with lipstick? Hockey dad must be a like pit-bull on meth. Gotta love 'em.

GO HAWKS!!!

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