2011 MLB Predictions

Given that my 2010 pre-season prediction ended so well...

http://slavieboy.blogspot.com/2010/04/pre-season-mlb-predictions-2010.html
(GIANTS as World Champions just never gets old) --

...I decided to repeat the procedure exactly as I did last year. Same format. Same spot in my wife's basement (it's her house and my mom kicked me out long ago). Same lucky underwear from last year. DANG IT HONEY, YOU DID NOT THROW THEM LUCKY DRAWERS OUT, DID YOU!?!?!

Oh well, here it goes.

NL East:

Phillies: Again, 95+ wins with a buzz-saw of a rotation. Have to get to Brad Lidge to win.
Braves: Should be closer to 90 wins, but no cigar. Lose out on wild-card by a game or two.
Nationals: The Bryce Harper era begins. Luckily for Nats, he will not blow out his arm. + .500
Marlins: Less than .500, not by much. Fun to watch, young team. Too bad not many in Miami attend.
Mets: Paying penance just for knowing Bernie Madoff. Need a wrecking ball here.



NL Central:

Brewers: Greinke can relax here, cheese-heads provide low-stress environment. Might win 90, should be enough for this division.
Reds: The Aroldis Chapman era begins, hopefully his 100MPH+ arm is more durable. Just short of 90 wins.
Cardinals: Will struggle with injuries and .500 and being so close in the standings to the Cubs. LaRussa looks tired.
Cubs: Will struggle with .500 and being so close to each other in the dugout. On the other hand, will be giddy at being so close to the Cardinals in the standings, failing to realize that the Cardinals suck this year.
Astros: Might be in AAA if we were more like British soccer.
Pirates: Might be in AA if we were more like British soccer. Wins against them should only count as 1/2 win.

NL West:

Giants: Should have enough to hold off the Rockies, but not by much.
Rockies: Will challenge the Giants all year, especially late. A Wild Card that nobody, save Philly and the Giants, will want to face.
Dodgers: Until the Divorce Court of the McCourt's issues are resolved, this team will struggle. Divorce in LA-LA land is miserable and shit flows downhill -- do the math.
D-Backs: Might struggle to win 75 games.
Padres: See Pirates and Astros only with pitching.

AL East:

Red Sox: Tired of second place, brought out the checkbook to do something about it. Should be exciting and challenge 100 wins.
Yankees: Will coast into the wild card, if Boss, Jr. allows it. It's fun to watch someone who lives in a castle on his own island bitch about people building a custom McMansion in a gated community. What has baseball come to?
Rays: Rebuilding. Rinse, lather, repeat. Loaded with prospects.
Blue Jays: Canadian dollar now stronger than US dollar, may win 90 games but it will only count for 85 due to the conversion rate.
Orioles: Fighters in Uncle Buck's army will compete, but /- .500 by a game or two at best.

AL Central:

Twins: Still good enough in this division. Not as good as last year though.
White Sox: Will be OK unless Peavy's arm flies off. WHAT, ALREADY?!?!
Tigers: Still waiting for those stimulus funds from Washington to bail them out.
Royals: AL's perennial candidate for AAA
Indians: Another possibility for AA.

AL West:

Rangers: Should win the division easily.
Angels: Should be so much better. Should win 90+ games per year on talent. Coast too much.
A's: Still mired around the .500 mark.
Mariners: Might be most improved team in AL and they still suck. Shows how bad they were last year. A Felix arm injury away from AAA.


AL Playoffs:
Rangers pummel Yankees
Red Sox pummel Twins

NL Playoffs:
Phillies over Rockies (but not by much)
Giants over Brewers (by much, Greinke has to pitch under pressure)


AL Championship:
Red Sox over Rangers in a classic.

NL Championship:
Giants beat Phillies in a classic rematch of great pitching staffs. Teams have to figure out how to win like '69 Mets or girls softball teams, try to learn slap-hitting in futility.

Setting up a Giants - Red Sox World Series, which the Giants win in a seven game classic.

That's the way I see it, but I could be wrong.

GO GIANTS!!!