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Thursday, March 03, 2011

In praise of the average guy....maybe.


You just gotta love 'em. According to the article posted below, he's gotta get a clue....and a much better life in many areas.

Some of the highlights:

- The age when the average man is in the best shape of his life is 23? Twenty-three?!?! Are you serious, it's all downhill after twenty-three?

- % of men who consider themselves physically fit = 69%. Those that are actually physically fit = 13%. So 56% of men are big, fat liars. I thought it was just Rush Limbaugh.

- The part of the body men spend the most time trying to develop is the chest when the body part women are turned on the most by is the butt. That's just clueless.

- BTW, this part has always been a feature of TheSlavs  National Health Care Plan or "SlavieCare":

Average cost of a 1-year gym membership: $648 - Amount the average 40-year-old man would save each year in medical costs if he exercised regularly: $949

The government should give credits for gym membership as a means to drive down health care costs. Or insurance companies could offer lower rates. Tie the rates to how many times a year you actually go to the gym or participate in health-related activities like 5-K's, Ironman's, etc. That would motivate folks, wouldn't it?

- OK, this one is just stupid. "Percentage of men who would never skip another workout if... women began wearing see-through spandex: 16%" They would never skip another workout on purpose. However, they would miss workout due to dropping dumbbells on their foot.

Men's Health did an "average guy" article or two some years back and there were some surprising results from that one as well.

- The # of Fortune 500 CEO's who cheat at golf = 1 in 3. (33%)
- Number of men who would use an illegal driver if it would give them an extra 10 yards = 2 in 7. (29%)
- Chances that a ticket brought from a scalper (which half of us have done) is counterfeit = less than 1%.

How depressing is that? A ticket scalper is apparently about 20 times more ethical than most of us and 33 times more ethical than a corporate CEO.

- Number of guys who yell at the TV when there is a bad call = 8 in 10 (80%). Who doesn't?
The number of spouses / gf's / bf's / sig. others who think their guy is an idiot for doing so = at or near 100%. Just saying.

- Number who are superstitious enough to believe their actions can affect the outcome of a game = 1 in 5 (20%).

Which just proves that 80% of guys just don't try hard enough and are not really fans of their favorite teams. I mean WTFreak is that? Are you trying to tell me a butterfly flapping his damn wings somewhere in the world can cause a hurricane somewhere else and I can't influence the outcome of a game? What kind of scientific BS are we teaching in our schools today?

Sorry folks Men's Health got this one wrong, it's not superstition, it's reality. Deal with it. And don't roll your eyes like my wife does either.

- Percentage of men who admit they've teed off from the women's tee = 6%.
Dang, what's with the cheating fellas? 28% would use an illegal club, of which 6% are pansies, and we get pissed off when 7-10% of MLB tests positive for PED's? Check your shorts fellas.

Percentage who think they could beat a female pro golfer (playing from the women's tee) = 12%.

All right fellas, I'm calling bullshit. Get a clue. 100% of the female pro golfers could probably beat the average man's game if SHE LET YOU TEE OFF FROM THE WOMENS TEES AND SHE TEED OFF FROM THE BIG BOY BOX. Please. Check yourself caveman.

Number whose love of sports has caused a woman to dump them = 1 in 9 (11%) Woman are just too compliant nowadays. Or maybe desperation set in. IDK.

Number of hours of televised sports the average guy will watch in his lifetime = 2,888.
Dang, I think I beat that on an annual basis.

Approximate number of divots the average golfer will create in his lifetime = 134,685.
No way.

Golf balls he'll lose in the water, the woods or thin air = 4,735.
Oh, I got that one beat. Easily.

Sport the average guy played as a kid - Baseball
Yes.

Sport he wishes he had played - Football
No. I just wish baseball had cheerleaders like football. Never figured that one out.

Distance the average guy as an adult can throw a football = 50 yards.
No. Not with two throws.

Distance he can drive a golf ball = 200 yards.
Can I use the illegal club in my bag? Ooops....

Speed at which he can hurl a baseball = 65 MPH.
Maybe, on a good day. Have the Ben-Gay or some cortisone ready though.

What today's Little League pitcher clocks in at = 60 MPH.

Little steroid fueled freaks. Bad enough I couldn't throw harder than the average Little Leaguer when I was one. Now you tell me I can't compete with the Little Eagers today. Dang. Being average stinks. Fellas, we gotta work on some of these averages.

See if you're better than the average male.

http://www.elitefeet.com/are-you-an-average-man

Here are the real stats of the average American man. This is either going to make you feel better or confirm you're going to have to overachieve:

The average man is 34.4 years old.

The average man is married with two children.

The average man earns $36,100 per year and has $3,100 in the bank.

The average man sleeps about 7 hours on a work night.

Age when the average guy is in the best shape of his life: 23 years

The average man is is about 5' 9" tall.

He weighs 175 pounds.

Age (yrs) 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69
Weight (lbs) 168 179 182 185 184
Weight (kg) 76 81.1 82.6 84 83.5

Percentage of men who consider themselves "physically fit": 69%

Percentage who actually are: 13%

Time it takes the average guy to run a mile: 8 minutes, 34 seconds

Time it takes the average American man to run 1.5 miles: 12 minutes, 45 seconds

Age (yrs) 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69
Time (m:s) 12:18 12:51 13:53 14:55 16:07

Pounds the average man can bench-press one time: 160
Age (yrs) 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69
Max. Weight (lbs) 180 158 143 128 116

Number of sit-ups he can do in 1 minute: 36
Age (yrs) 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69
Sit-ups 40 36 31 26 20

Number of push-ups he can do with good form in 1 minute: 27
Age (yrs) 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69
Push-ups 33 27 21 15 15

Number of pull-ups he can do: 1

Resting heart rate of a fit man: 52 beats per minute

Time it takes a fit man to log 8,000,000 heartbeats: 30 years

Resting heart rate of a man who's out of shape: 72 beats per minute

Time it takes an out-of-shape man to log 8,000,000 heartbeats: 19 years

Size of the average guy's biceps: 13 inches (flexed)

Size of his chest: 40 inches (inhaled)

Size of his waist: 34 inches

Amount of muscle the average sedentary guy loses each year: 1 pound

Amount of fat he gains each year: 1.1 pounds

The part of a man's body that is the biggest turn-on for the average woman: his butt

The part the average guy spends the most time trying to develop: his chest

Percentage of men who don't belong to a gym: 88%

Average cost of a 1-year gym membership: $648

Amount the average 40-year-old man would save each year in medical costs if he exercised
regularly: $949

Time period when the typical gym is least crowded: 10:00am to 11:30am

Percentage of men who would never skip another workout if... they could build twice the muscle with half the effort: 40%

Percentage of men who would never skip another workout if... women began wearing see-through spandex: 16%

Exercise equipment the average guy is most likely to own: dumbbells

Percentage of men who use their fitness equipment as... a place to hang their clothes: 45%

Percentage of men who use their fitness equipment as... a doorstop: 13%

Number of men who would rather work out than have sex: 1 in 7

Percentage of men who think that gyms are pickup joints: 14%

The life expectancy of the average man is:
Year Born 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 1997
Life Expectancy (yrs) 65.6 66.6 67.1 70.0 71.8 73.6


For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.” -- Stuart Chase (Writer and Economist, 1888-1985)

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