What Parents Should Say as Their Kids Perform - Tim Elmore

H/T to Mrs. TheSlav for sending this and it bears repeating. At the Olympic level recent studies have documented that for those who rise to the highest levels, maintaining a continued positive and supportive role is one of the keys to development.

And it helps the participants to experience what many on the outside would view as an enviable and enjoyable ride.  

The Six Simple Words and the before and after competition statements are excellent. Not a word about winning or losing, issues the coach may or should be involved in, individual plays that did or didn't work out.

Good stuff.

from Growing Leaders with Tim Elmore:
What Parents Should Say as Their Kids Perform - Tim Elmore:

In my work at Growing Leaders, we enjoy the privilege of serving numerous NCAA and professional sports teams each year. After meeting with hundreds of coaches and athletes, I noticed an issue kept surfacing in our conversations. Both the student-athlete and the coach were trying to solve the same problem.  What was that problem?

The parents of the student-athletes.

- See more at: http://growingleaders.com/blog/what-parents-should-say-as-their-kids-perform/#sthash.AmOxZ9q7.dpuf

What we parents may not recognize is the pressure and angst this kind of involvement applies. May I tell you what student-athletes are telling me?

I love my mom, but when she does this, I get the feeling she doesn’t trust me.

My parents are great, but I feel like I have multiple coaches telling me what to do and I get stressed out over it.

I’m getting blackballed by my teammates because my mother keeps texting me and my coach, to give suggestions. I wish she would chill.

I feel like I’m never quite good enough; I can never fully please my parents.

What We Should Say When Our Kids Perform

The most liberating words parents can speak to their student-athletes are quite simple. Based on psychological research, the three healthiest statements moms and dads can make as they perform are:

Before the Competition:                                    After the competition:

1. Have fun.                                                    1. Did you have fun?
2. Play hard.                                                    2. I’m proud of you.
3. I love you.                                                    3. I love you.

Six Simple Words…

- See more at: http://growingleaders.com/blog/what-parents-should-say-as-their-kids-perform/#sthash.AmOxZ9q7.dpuf

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