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Friday, February 01, 2013

Ten things parents should avoid saying to their child in sports


An old list I had lying around from a clinic. I have to admit, I've said some of these and probably worse -- "Fine. Do it your way, but if your way doesn't work out, it's a long walk home" -- comes immediately to mind as one of my go-to phrases. That might be #3 on steroids. Somehow, it made more sense to me back when I said it. Now it just sounds mean.

I've heard worse as an official / umpire. The classic "That's not my son / daughter" after an error is always in style. Some things never get old.

"I didn't teach him / her that?" is an equal opportunity phrase from both parents and coaches. That could be a play on both #'s 1 and 7.

But OK, cover your bases (or something else - CYA perhaps?).
  1. Why did you do that? (This is OK for coaches, not so good for parents)
  2. What were you thinking out there? (This could be a good one every once in a while)
  3. Why didn't you do what I told you to do? (It's probably opposed to what the coach told him)
  4. When I was your age, I could..... (yeah, yeah, yeah...)
  5. You have to practice more. (they hear "You stink at this game")
  6. Look at me when I talk to you. (Why, I hear with my ears not my eyes?)
  7. That was embarrassing. (Bad enough to just stink at the game, now I bring shame to the family?)
  8. You will never get anywhere doing that. (Great, now I'm destined to be a life-loser too)
  9. Don't listen to your coach, listen to me. (See # 3) 
  10. Forget it, I'm not coming to your games any more. (Great, now my parents are quitters too) 
Often it's the tone or the timing of when the comments are made that matters the most. Most of them don't work out real well regardless of tone or intentions. 

Generally, right after games is bad timing. There should be a mandatory half-hour cooling off period. The drive home is usually good, so long as it doesn't develop into another form of road rage or driving while distracted. 

Immediately after a bad play is even worse. The fences around baseball diamonds are more to keep parents out than foul balls in.

Just another public service message from TheSlav!!


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