Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Ana Ivanovic the Next Anna? Let's find Out




















Lately we've done an awful lot of dry, stuffy, boring statistical comparisons between large, sweaty baseball players. I just felt like it was time to pass judgement on a sports comparison that I can get firmly behind.

I hear the debate, "Is Ana Ivanovic the next Anna Kournikova?" a bit on talk radio and I understand why the topic is popular, given the demographic. But please, who said we were anywhere near done with the old Anna? Why the rush to throw out the old? Sometimes old is better. Is it better in this case? Let's Find Out.

Tale of the Tape
SPELLING ABILITY: Being somewhat of an egg-head, I have to deduct points for misspelling. In reality, who cares? Use spell check.
ADVANTAGE KOURNIKOVA

HAIR COLOR: Anna - Blonde (pretty sure) Ana - Brunette (why lie?)
What you've never seen "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"? It's a Classic.
ADVANTAGE: KOURNIKOVA

ENDORSEMENT POTENTIAL: After an exhaustive Google Image search, I must declare further extensive research is required. Next time, I vow to muster all the human strength at my disposal and keep two hands on the keyboard at all times. For now....
ADVANTAGE: NEITHER

COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: Ana - Serbia, Anna - Russia
ADVANTAGE: KOURNIKOVA
I don't know where Serbia is, therefore I don't recognize it as a legitimate country.

PLAYING ABILITY: Ana 50th, Anna 1st
ADVANTAGE: KOURNIKOVA
Sorry, babe we dig winners here in America, no time for losers.

HEIGHT: Ana 6-0 Anna 5-8
ADVANTAGE: KOURNIKOVA
Although I'm willing to learn Amazonian.

WEIGHT: Ana 160 lbs Anna 123 lbs
ADVANTAGE: KOURNIKOVA
It's cruel to have to say "Get off me, you beast, you're crushing my spleen", to an otherwise perfectly acceptable woman. A buck sixty is what I weigh on a good day and I can't have a woman that weighs more than me or can beat me in arm wrestling. Not good for that whole perpetuation of the species thing.

INTANGIBLES:
Both play right-handed - ADVANTAGE: NEITHER
Anna seems more willing and able to play doubles. ADVANTAGE: KOURNIKOVA.

It's over. It's all over. And I think we have a winner in this case.

Clearly, the most lop-sided heavy-weight confrontation since Michael Spinks pissed down his leg in front of Mike Tyson.

No comments:

Giants Top Minor League Prospects

  • 1. Joey Bart 6-2, 215 C Power arm and a power bat, playing a premium defensive position. Good catch and throw skills.
  • 2. Heliot Ramos 6-2, 185 OF Potential high-ceiling player the Giants have been looking for. Great bat speed, early returns were impressive.
  • 3. Chris Shaw 6-3. 230 1B Lefty power bat, limited defensively to 1B, Matt Adams comp?
  • 4. Tyler Beede 6-4, 215 RHP from Vanderbilt projects as top of the rotation starter when he works out his command/control issues. When he misses, he misses by a bunch.
  • 5. Stephen Duggar 6-1, 170 CF Another toolsy, under-achieving OF in the Gary Brown mold, hoping for better results.
  • 6. Sandro Fabian 6-0, 180 OF Dominican signee from 2014, shows some pop in his bat. Below average arm and lack of speed should push him towards LF.
  • 7. Aramis Garcia 6-2, 220 C from Florida INTL projects as a good bat behind the dish with enough defensive skill to play there long-term
  • 8. Heath Quinn 6-2, 190 OF Strong hitter, makes contact with improving approach at the plate. Returns from hamate bone injury.
  • 9. Garrett Williams 6-1, 205 LHP Former Oklahoma standout, Giants prototype, low-ceiling, high-floor prospect.
  • 10. Shaun Anderson 6-4, 225 RHP Large frame, 3.36 K/BB rate. Can start or relieve
  • 11. Jacob Gonzalez 6-3, 190 3B Good pedigree, impressive bat for HS prospect.
  • 12. Seth Corry 6-2 195 LHP Highly regard HS pick. Was mentioned as possible chip in high profile trades.
  • 13. C.J. Hinojosa 5-10, 175 SS Scrappy IF prospect in the mold of Kelby Tomlinson, just gets it done.
  • 14. Garett Cave 6-4, 200 RHP He misses a lot of bats and at times, the plate. 13 K/9 an 5 B/9. Wild thing.

2019 MLB Draft - Top HS Draft Prospects

  • 1. Bobby Witt, Jr. 6-1,185 SS Colleyville Heritage HS (TX) Oklahoma commit. Outstanding defensive SS who can hit. 6.4 speed in 60 yd. Touched 97 on mound. Son of former major leaguer. Five tool potential.
  • 2. Riley Greene 6-2, 190 OF Haggerty HS (FL) Florida commit.Best HS hitting prospect. LH bat with good eye, plate discipline and developing power.
  • 3. C.J. Abrams 6-2, 180 SS Blessed Trinity HS (GA) High-ceiling athlete. 70 speed with plus arm. Hitting needs to develop as he matures. Alabama commit.
  • 4. Reece Hinds 6-4, 210 SS Niceville HS (FL) Power bat, committed to LSU. Plus arm, solid enough bat to move to 3B down the road. 98MPH arm.
  • 5. Daniel Espino 6-3, 200 RHP Georgia Premier Academy (GA) LSU commit. Touches 98 on FB with wipe out SL.

2019 MLB Draft - Top College Draft Prospects

  • 1. Adley Rutschman C Oregon State Plus defender with great arm. Excellent receiver plus a switch hitter with some pop in the bat.
  • 2. Shea Langliers C Baylor Excelent throw and catch skills with good pop time. Quick bat, uses all fields approach with some pop.
  • 3. Zack Thompson 6-2 LHP Kentucky Missed time with an elbow issue. FB up to 95 with plenty of secondary stuff.
  • 4. Matt Wallner 6-5 OF Southern Miss Run producing bat plus mid to upper 90's FB closer. Power bat from the left side, athletic for size.
  • 5. Nick Lodolo LHP TCU Tall LHP, 95MPH FB and solid breaking stuff.