I STILL <3 BUSTER POSEY
It is with great sadness that our nation receives the news that the collegiate career of Buster Posey has tragically come to an end with today's loss to the Miami Hurricanes in Omaha.
What makes this disaster even more senseless is this--IT DID NOT HAVE TO HAPPEN. The Florida State coaching staff will have to live with the shameful fact that they had the ultimate weapon at their disposal--LOCKED AND LOADED--and yet, chose not to use it with their season on the line against their most hated rival.
Listen, everyone knows that Posey played nine positions in one seven inning game against Savannah State, causing the panty-waists at ESPN to utter their disdain for the FSU program.
Remember this rant?
What was stopping Coach Martin, who is greatly respected, from handing in a lineup composed of Buster Posey playing every position on the field AT THE SAME TIME!!!
Especially in this game of games. You had him warmed up to the task by playing all nine positions over a seven-inning stretch in the tune-up against Savannah State. Why not turn him loose now?
I realize this approach has only happened one time in baseball history, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Remember this episode, boys and girls?
THE CLASSIC ALL-BUGS BUNNY BASEBALL LINEUP EPISODE:
It can only be the fear of public outcry and possible reprisals against the university that stopped them. But I ask you, Seminole Nation, is this the Florida State University you grew to know and love? The same Seminole Nation which most of the rest of the nation grew up to know and dislike with a passion?
When has the FSU program let public outcries like the PTI-style rant stop them in the past in their quest to over-hype FSU athletes. This is the program that uber-hyped J.D. Drew after he hit like a 900-foot home run one time. And who can forget the time Marshall MacDougall hit like ten home runs against Maryland once.
What they forgot to mention in the media hype was that J.D. Drew hit his home run with 120 MPH plus hurricane force winds at this back and that the game Marshall MacDougall hit his home runs, the game was played at a local Little League field, after Maryland's on-campus baseball field was overrun by angry Terrapins. But who cares? Both events happened. FSU won both games. And if they had to rub an occasional opponents face in the turf in pursuit of Garland and Gold glory, well tough titties, right?
Florida State is the same university that allowed Deon Sanders to engage in glorious fits of self-aggrandizement and spasmodic touchdown dances with body parts gyrating like a Dice-K gyroball. You can't tell me that most, if not all of America--including the knuckleheads on PTI--did not completely enjoy that era.
Can you just imagine a lineup of nine copies of Buster Posey and the baseball havoc such a lineup would wreck? They would theoretically defeat a lineup of every human being, living or dead, with the possible exception of a lineup consisting of nine Mike Ditka's.
To attempt to find out if our theoretical lineup would prevail, we used the famous Sagarin number to estimate what carnage such a lineup would produce. The Sagarin number essentially tells you how many runs per game would be scored by a lineup that consisted of nine copies of the same player.
THE SAGARIN NUMBER COMPUTATION:
25 * (SLG *OBA) / (1- AVG)
Using Buster Posey's Season Numbers as of June 16th:
Player........... AVG....SLG....OBA
Buster Posey......463___.879___.566
SUCH A LINEUP WOULD PRODUCE APPROXIMATELY 23 RUNS PER GAME.
INSTEAD OF LOSING 7-5 TO MIAMI, CLEARLY FSU WINS BY 23-2.
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND CHOOSES TO LOSE 7-5 WHEN THEY CAN WIN 23-2??
And with Buster Posey pitching just his average game, which is all that would be required with a line-up of nine other Buster Posey's providing more than adequate run support, the all-Buster Posey team would have easily:
a) Defeated the Miami Hurricanes
b) Defeated the other college boy teams currently in Omaha
c) treated Erin Andrews to the weekend of her wildest dreams (no Rick Sutcliffe, you're not in them)
and
d) whet the nation's appetite for the all-Buster Posey vs. all-Mike Ditka team which would be held on pay-per-view the proceeds of which would
e) retire the National Debt with enough coin leftover to
f) fund national health care for everyone, including illegal aliens, visiting aliens, E.T. and
g) cure climate change
So as you can see, the FSU coaching staff has committed a blunder of near biblical proportions by not listening to the FSU sports marketing machine.
But FSU has not committed nearly as big a blunder as the Baseball Hall of Fame. No, I'm not talking about Pete Rose again. But seriously, how can the Baseball HOF, in good conscience, allow the Abbott and Costello comedy routine to enter the hallowed Hall, and continue to keep out the classic Bugs Bunny episode?
Baseball Fans of the World, it's time to rise up and end this injustice. Tell the Hall it's time to right this wrong. Send them cards, letters, e-mails and faxes until they scream Uncle. It's the right thing to do.
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