To the question. Put me down for a YES!! YES!! YES!!
Lets look at why, shall we?
Let's start with a definition of helicopter parent.
hel·i·cop·ter par·ent
noun
informal
plural noun: helicopter parents
a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children.
"some college officials see all this as the behavior of an overindulged generation, raised by helicopter parents and lacking in resilience"
Now let's open the floor for debate.
from ncsasports.org via Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/NCSAsports/posts/10152924957797967
Comment from another reader:
This article is ridiculous. Who do you think started & taught their players from the beginning! Not a coach that uses a team as recreation or in some cases a "tax write off". The upper level competitors practices daily with a parent or specialized coach.. The so called scout or representative will ask you for 3-4 thousand to help get your child recruited to colleges of no interest academically, location or a Juco. Not necessary, just good common sense. I guess someone should have told Jenny Finch's dad that, he was her coach from day 1 & followed her through retirement..
Comment from TheSlav:
Many coaches are in over their head or out of heir element and emotionally attached because it is after all their kids we're talking about. For every Jennie Finch, who I don't doubt did a great job there is a ( or maybe more like 10 ) Colby Rasmus who reportedly continues to circle even though the "kid" is in the major leagues. That's why the article is pretty spot on. As a parent, at some point you have to learn to let go. It's healthy for both parent and child that way.
MLB.com has a riff from Rick Neuheisel talking about walking Puff Daddy or some such and his son and 20 minutes in rap star asks him "So Rick, what is it you do here? He was only the football coach at the time.
Sent from my iPhone
It appears that the effects of the phenomena called "helicopter parents" are being felt far beyond the arena of youth sports, BTW.
from pjmedia.com
http://pjmedia.com/parenting/2015/07/07/surprise-helicopter-parents-breed-anxious-kids/
Surprise! Helicopter Parents Breed Anxious Kids
Who would’ve thunk it? When you manage every part of a child’s life, when you never leave them alone to teach them coping skills, they become anxious adults when finally allowed a little bit of room on the leash. Slate has an interesting discussion of a new book on helicopter parenting and college-aged kids.
In 2010, psychology professor Neil Montgomery of Keene State College in New Hampshire surveyed 300 college freshmen nationwide and found that students with helicopter parents were less open to new ideas and actions and more vulnerable, anxious, and self-conscious. “[S]tudents who were given responsibility and not constantly monitored by their parents—so-called ‘free rangers’—the effects were reversed,” Montgomery’s study found. A 2011 study by Terri LeMoyne and Tom Buchanan at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga looking at more than 300 students found that students with “hovering” or “helicopter” parents are more likely to be medicated for anxiety and/or depression.
Some observations as to how we arrived at this point and in this authors opinion it has truly been a long time in the making. I agree with the first development, fear of child abductions led to a tamping down of the concept of "free play" or unsupervised play by children. That horse may have left the barn, never to return. Now if parents let kids play freely like we were allowed to the risk not only social condemnation but the risk that their kids will be abducted all right, but by another entity, the state and Child Protections Services.
Once again, we have change. But it sure doesn't seem like change for the better.
from Business Insider
Many of us remember a time when, in comparison, parents were rather uninvolved in childhood.
When a parent (usually a mom) would throw the door open on weekday afternoons and tell us, "Go out and play and be home for dinner." Our parents had no idea where we were or exactly what we were doing. There were no cell phones for keeping in touch or GPS devices for tracking.
Off we went into the wilderness of our block, our neighborhood, our town, our vacant lots, our parks, our woods, our malls. Or sometimes, we just snuck a book and sat on the back steps.
Childhood doesn't look that way today and many young parents don’t relate to childhood ever having been that way.
When, why, and how did parenting and childhood change? Even a cursory hunt yields a bounty of shifts. A number of important ones take place in the mid-1980s.
In 1983, one shift arose from the increased awareness of child abductions. The tragic 1981 abduction and murder of a young child named Adam Walsh became the made-for-television movie Adam, which was seen by a near record-setting 38 million people.
....
And a fourth shift was the creation of the playdate, circa 1984. The play-date emerged as a practical scheduling tool at a time when mothers were entering the workforce in record numbers. The combination of more parents working and the increased reliance on day care meant fewer kids were going home after school, and it was harder to find either a location or a time for play.
Once parents started scheduling play, they then began observing play, which led to involving themselves in play. Once a critical mass of parents began being involved in kids' play, leaving kids home alone became taboo, as did allowing kids to play unsupervised.
Day care for younger kids turned into organized after-school activities for older kids. Meanwhile, concerns at the turn of that decade over injury and lawsuits prompted a complete overhaul of public playgrounds nationwide. The very nature of play — which is a foundational element in the life of a developing child — began to change.
Excerpted from "How To Raise An Adult" by Julie Lythcott-Haims, published by Henry Holt and Company, LLC. Copyright © 2015 by Julie Lythcott- Haims. All rights reserved.
Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/the-rise-of-the-helicopter-parent-2015-7#ixzz3fURgB055
Agree also on the point of fear of under-achievement due to our failing educational system and falling standing of our kids versus their international peers as far as education goes.
So we have two elements of FEAR underlying our decision making and cultural shifts. What could possibly go wrong when that element is in there? It can't possibly lead to irrational decisions could it?
The focus on self-esteem is just loony IMO, but I agree it is there and a part of the problem. The whole "everybody gets a trophy" manifestation in youth sports kind of personifies the absurdity of that response.
And fourth, the arrival of "play-dates" is just a compensation which recognizes the problem, but instead of turning back the hands of time, so to speak, which we cannot do since we have a parental partner in big government, we have to compensate in such a way that Big Brother nods his head in approval.
What a mixed up world we live in, huh? The first step is to recognize that this is a problem and I think the people who most fit the definition don't recognize that it may be them we are talking about. But oh well, what are you going to do?
1 comment:
Thanks Sean!
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