https://illinoisfamily.org/marriage/fathers-future-america-2/

Fathers and the Future of America

"So, what is your relationship with your father like?"
As a volunteer chaplain for our county's juvenile detention center, I asked this question about three hundred times over the course of about six years. I only recall two occasions where a young inmate told me that he had a good relationship with his father.
What was interesting to me was that in our county there really was no demographic consistency that you could point to that would explain youth crime. We had Caucasians, African-Americans, Hispanics and Asian-Americans. Economically, we had upper class, middle class and lower class (the rich youth would often steal, which was ironic). There were Christians (mainly), Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist and Atheist. They came from urban, suburban and rural settings. The only absolute consistency was that there was no healthy relationships with their fathers.
On Mother's Day, nearly all of the inmates would send cards to (and receive cards or letters from) their mothers and/or grandmothers. But Father's Day was simply a non-event.
Many never met their biological fathers. Many had abusive step-fathers, or lived with a revolving door of men coming in and out of their lives. Some lived with their fathers, but their dads were too preoccupied with work or other responsibilities to take time for them. The conclusion I reached, from my own observation, was that the lack of a father's guidance was the single-most dominant factor in juvenile crime.
The Influence of a Father
Some time back, I read a study in a news magazine, where school students were asked which academic subject was the most important. It turns out, surprisingly, that all of the students gave the exact same response! No, they didn't all choose the same subject in their answers, but the underlying reason for that choice was exactly the same. The most important academic subject that you could learn, according to school students, was whatever subject their father helped them with for homework. So if their father tutored them in Math, then Math was the most important subject. If Science, then the students said Science, and so on.
The reason for this is that children intuitively understand that their father has limited time, and if he is going to take his precious time and help a child learn something, it must be very important (at least in the mind of his child). This speaks to me of how important it is for us as fathers to be intentional about how we spend our time investing in our children.
Shortly after reading that report, I had a conversation with a man after church one Sunday who had three adult children. He proudly informed me, "Israel, over the years there was one thing that I made sure to impress upon my children. If there was one thing I really wanted them to embrace, and learn to love, it was sports! And they have! All of them are huge sports fans, just like me. They played all kinds of sports, we watched lots of sports on television, and even had season tickets to the local stadium games. Yep, they are now teaching their children to love sports as well."
While I recognize some of the benefits of organized sports, I had to wonder about the wisdom of promoting sports as such a high value in life. If a father has one chance to pass on values and beliefs to his children, he had better be mindful and selective with what he chooses to emphasize.
God Give Us Men!
As a young man, I grew up with a very limited fatherly influence. My parents divorced when I was six, and I saw my father only one weekend a month until I was fifteen, and then not at all. From six to fifteen, I lived with a physically abusive step-father. Today, I am a blessed father of nine children! By the grace of God, I have been able to break the cycle of abuse and dysfunction and my children are able to live in a peaceful home with two parents who love them.
I believe that when men turn their hearts to their wives and children, and commit to be godly servant-leaders in their own homes, we will see the beginning of the stabilization of society. Consider the many areas of society impacted by fatherless homes:


Read more HERE.
I strongly encourage churches and civic institutions to do everything they can to train, equip and encourage men to take seriously their roles as husbands and fathers. The future of our nation, in many ways, depends upon it (see Malachi 4:6 & Luke 1:17).

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https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/

Statistics

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.

• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.

• 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Center for Disease Control)

• 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average.  (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)

• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (National Principals Association Report)

Father Factor in Education – Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of school.

• Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.

• Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.

• Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A's in school.

• Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.

• 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes – 10 times the average.

Father Factor in Drug and Alcohol Abuse – Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Teens in single mother households are at a 30% higher risk than those in two-parent households.

• 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average.  (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)

• 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average.  (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)

Father Factor in Incarceration – Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds. A 2002 Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in 2002 had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.
Father Factor in Crime – A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency. Adolescents, particularly boys, in single-parent families were at higher risk of status, property and person delinquencies. Moreover, students attending schools with a high proportion of children of single parents are also at risk. A study of 13,986 women in prison showed that more than half grew up without their father. Forty-two percent grew up in a single-mother household and sixteen percent lived with neither parent
Father Factor in Child Abuse – Compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. The overall rate of child abuse and neglect in single-parent households is 27.3 children per 1,000, whereas the rate of overall maltreatment in two-parent households is 15.5 per 1,000.
Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 711% more likely to have children as teenagers, 164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves.
Adolescent girls raised in a 2 parent home with involved Fathers are significantly less likely to be sexually active than girls raised without involved Fathers.

• 43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]

• 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]

• 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]

• 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]

• 85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]

• 90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, "Dousing the Kindlers," Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]

• 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]

• 75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God's Children]

• 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]

• 85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]

• Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]

Census Fatherhood Statistics

• 64.3 million: Estimated number of fathers across the nation
• 26.5 million: Number of fathers who are part of married-couple families with their own children under the age of 18.
  Among these fathers –
  • 22 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old (among married-couple family households only).
  • 2 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.
• 2.5 million: Number of single fathers, up from 400,000 in 1970. Currently, among single parents living with their children, 18 percent are men.
  Among these fathers –
  • 8 percent are raising three or more of their own children under 18 years old.
  • 42 percent are divorced, 38 percent have never married, 16 percent are separated and 4 percent are widowed. (The percentages of those divorced and never married are not significantly different from one another.)
  • 16 percent live in the home of a relative or a non-relative.
  • 27 percent have an annual family income of $50,000 or more.
• 85 percent: Among the 30.2 million fathers living with children younger than 18, the percentage who lived with their biological children only.
  • 11 percent lived with step-children
  • 4 percent with adopted children
  • < 1 percent with foster children
  Recent policies encourage the development of programs designed to improve the economic status of low-income nonresident fathers and the financial and emotional support provided to their children. This brief provides ten key lessons from several important early responsible fatherhood initiatives that were developed and implemented during the 1990s and early 2000s. Formal evaluations of these earlier fatherhood efforts have been completed making this an opportune time to step back and assess what has been learned and how to build on the early programs' successes and challenges.While the following statistics are formidable, the Responsible Fatherhood research literature generally supports the claim that a loving and nurturing father improves outcomes for children, families and communities.
• Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
• Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.
• 24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.
• Nearly 20 million children (27 percent) live in single-parent homes.
• 43 percent of first marriages dissolve within fifteen years; about 60 percent of divorcing couples have children; and approximately one million children each year experience the divorce of their parents.
• Fathers who live with their children are more likely to have a close, enduring relationship with their children than those who do not.
• Compared to children born within marriage, children born to cohabiting parents are three times as likely to experience father absence, and children born to unmarried, non-cohabiting parents are four times as likely to live in a father-absent home.
• About 40 percent of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all during the past year; 26 percent of absent fathers live in a different state than their children; and 50 percent of children living absent their father have never set foot in their father's home.
• Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents.
• From 1995 to 2000, the proportion of children living in single-parent homes slightly declined, while the proportion of children living with two married parents remained stable.

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Happy Father's Day

Contrary to the recent trend in society today, apparently you are important. So take this day to celebrate that importance and then shut up, get back to work and do your job. 

 from Wikipedia:

Father's Day^[1] is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. Many countries celebrate it on the third Sunday of June, though it is also celebrated widely on other days by many other countries. Father's Day was created to complement Mother's Day, a celebration that honors mothers and motherhood.

Funny that they include the word "complement" in there, since that is what makes the traditional form of marriage not only unique, but better than any other form out there today. Not "equal to" or "same as", but "better than" and offering something that the others cannot.

Emperical evidence demonstrates that over and over again.   So does common sense.

Fathers' Involvement Can Change Children’s Futures

from the Daily Signal:

http://dailysignal.com/2014/06/06/dads-involvement-can-change-childrens-future/?utm_source=facebook

Children with involved fathers are more likely to graduate from college—particularly among middle- and upper-income families but also among those from lower-income backgrounds, a recent study found.

 According to this new research by Brad Wilcox at the University of Virginia, the family structure that best promotes this involvement is a married, intact family. This is the case for youth from lower-educated homes as well as those from more highly educated homes.

Wilcox also found fathers are more involved with their children today than they have been in the past. The amount of time fathers spend with their children each week has increased from 4.2 hours on average in 1995 to 7.3 hours on average in 2011. The down side is that fewer teens live in intact families, particularly teens from working-class and lower-income homes.

On the other hand, their peers from college-educated homes are "triply advantaged," according to Wilcox: "They typically enjoy more economic resources, an intact family, and an involved father."

The question then is, how to keep youth connected with their fathers, or, as Wilcox puts it, how to "bridge the fatherhood divide between children from college-educated and less-educated families."

Increasing the odds that more children are raised in homes with their married mother and father is a crucial factor in the equation.

Today, more than  40 percent of children are born to unwed mothers.

Among lower- and moderately educated (high school diploma or less) households, the number is much higher. Taking this factor into account along with the high rate of divorce, 55 percent of children are expected to spend some time outside of an intact-parent family before they reach their 18th birthday.

Despite the trends, accepting the decline of marriage is not the answer. Marriage is critical to helping children succeed, as Wilcox's research and a multitude of other studies attest. Marriage is the foundation of a strong society, helping men, women and children thrive.

Some communities are taking action. In his recent book, Brigham Young University professor Alan Hawkins describes a plan for helping individuals and couples build and maintain lasting, healthy marriages. As I wrote last month in Public Discourse, Hawkins makes the case that preparing for and maintaining a healthy marriage is a lifelong endeavor. His strategy includes relationship and marriage education throughout different stages of life: from helping youth in high school learn how to build healthy relationships that will prepare them for marriage down the road, to helping couples in crisis salvage their marriage if possible.

Hawkins points to examples of schools, communities and states that have taken important steps to providing opportunities to build and strengthen marriages.

For example, he points to high schools in Alabama that have taught relationship literacy education" classes. Students who participated in these classes had more realistic attitudes about marriage and better conflict-management skills a year after participating, compared to their peers who didn't participate. More than half of the students came from low-income households.

Additionally, First Things First in Chattanooga, Tenn., runs a "community healthy marriage initiative." First Things First provides marriage education courses, operates public advertising campaigns about the importance of marriage and sponsors events for couples and families. They report that their efforts have reduced divorce rates in their community by nearly 30 percent (although a more rigorous evaluation is needed).

Finally, Utah and Oklahoma have taken the lead on marriage initiatives by providing marriage and relationship education to couples.

There are promising examples, yet far more is needed. As Hawkins points out, the United States must renew a culture of marriage if real change is to take place. Leaders at every level need to promote the culture of marriage.

A restoration of marriage in the United States will ensure more children have the opportunity to thrive, not only academically but when it comes to their physical and emotional health, as well as their own relationship success. Ultimately, it will mean providing a culture that gives Americans the greatest likelihood to succeed in achieving their dreams.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

Mike And The Mechanics - Living Years (Live At Shepherds Bush)

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts

So Don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up, and don't give in
You may just be O.K.

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

"The Living Years" as written by Michael/Robertson Rutherford
Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, BUG MUSIC

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The following article is one of the better pieces I have read about the state of fatherhood in this nation today.
Decades after the Moynihan Report and the resultant breakdown of the family unit due to the build up of the welfare state, no-fault divorce and the burgeoning prison population in this country, we can see the deleterious results of the often time coerced, forced removal of fathers from the home has on children.

Women may be in many ways freer socially, bot not much freer economically. They have in many respects, silently passed on the pain and suffering of broken relationships onto their children.
Many dads are guilty of not stepping up and doing their fair share, but clearly the system encourages both the behaviors and the results that we are getting as a society. It's time to take a long, hard look at how we are doing things in this area because very clearly the system as it currently stands, is broken.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

From the Washington Times:

KRUK: Dads needed on Father’s Day
American culture forgets that men play vital role in kids’ lives

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/14/dads-needed-on-fathers-day/?page=all#pagebreak

As Father's Day 2012 approaches, let’s take stock of the significance of fathers in children’s lives by examining what the child-development research tells us about the effects of father absence. There is a much more nuanced picture than that painted by President Obama a year ago during his Father's Day address, in which he placed the blame squarely on “deadbeat” fathers.

Many of the ongoing conversations on fatherlessness deflect attention away from the root causes of the social problem in American society. Fathers’ tenuous presence in children’s lives is primarily the result of two key factors: divorce and out-of-wedlock childbearing. More often than not, in these arenas, fathers are forced to relinquish their primary responsibilities for their children by family-court judgments concerned primarily with maintaining fathers’ role as financial providers but shunning their involvement as active caregivers. This practice continues despite the gender convergence of child care roles in two-parent families, where fathers and mothers share active responsibility for the care of their children. Fathers have increased their involvement in raising kids while mothers work longer hours in paid employment, and fathers are no longer satisfied to play second fiddle as parents. Many fathers today enthusiastically assume their responsibilities as parents and define themselves first and foremost in relation to their caregiving role rather than their financial role.

According to a recent UNICEF report, children in the United States rank extremely low in regard to social and emotional well-being compared with children in other economically developed nations. Theories involving race, social class and poverty have been advanced to explain this, but the absence of fathers - the one factor that correlates stronger with children’s compromised well-being than any other - has been ignored. There is a clear disconnect between what child-development researchers are observing and public policy in the area of father involvement.

When we look at the causes of father absence, a common reaction is to “parent-blame,” casting aspersions on either single mothers or absent fathers. Yet such judgments are overemphasized. Our social-welfare and judicial institutions undermine rather than support fathers who seek to fulfill their parental responsibilities. Divorced and never-married fathers in particular are devalued as parents by an overwhelming number of family-court judgments, as reflected in their forced removal from their children’s lives as daily caregivers. Laws and policies that diminish the importance and sanctity of the father-child relationship need to be challenged. Paternal involvement is critical to children’s well-being, and fathers desperately require social institutions to support being present for their kids.

When never-married and divorced fathers are removed from their children’s lives, it is their children who suffer. Absence of dads leads to a tangible feeling of deficit in children’s lives, leading to a phenomenon known as “father hunger.” The impact on children is profoundly damaging in a multitude of ways:

Children’s self-regard is deeply wounded, with ongoing bouts of self-loathing, as both their physical and emotional security is threatened. Children feel abandoned and experience the loss of their fathers as a personal rejection of them, and they struggle with the resultant emotions and deflected self-concept.

Social and behavioral problems, from attention deficit disorder to bullying and aggression to withdrawal and depression, are common in situations of father absence. Children report problems with friendships and increasing social withdrawal and isolation as they get older.

School difficulties, including poor academic performance and truancy, are more prevalent for children with absent fathers, as numerous studies of children’s reading proficiency, mathematics and thinking skills show. Fatherless children are more likely to be excluded from school, more likely to leave school at age 16 (71 percent of high school dropouts are fatherless) and less likely to attain academic and professional qualifications.

Delinquency and youth crime, including violent crime, are strongly associated with father absence, as 85 percent of youth in prison are fatherless children.

Promiscuity and teen pregnancy are strongly associated with father absence, including problems with sexual health, a greater likelihood of having intercourse before the age of 16, foregoing contraception during first intercourse, becoming teenage parents, and contracting sexually transmitted infections.


Drug and alcohol misuse and homelessness are rampant among the fatherless population of youth, as 90 percent of runaway children have an absent father.

Fatherlessness exposes children to exploitation and abuse. Lack of paternal protection exposes children to a greater risk of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. These children are five times more likely to have experienced physical abuse and emotional maltreatment, with a 100 times higher risk of fatal abuse.

Physical and mental health problems are endemic, as fatherless children report more acute and chronic pain, asthma, headaches and stomachaches and are overrepresented in regard to a wide range of mental health problems, particularly anxiety, depression and suicide.

The future life chances of fatherless children are severely compromised, as in adulthood they are more likely to experience unemployment, have low incomes, rely on social assistance, remain homeless and lack purpose and direction. Their future relationships are similarly affected, as they are more likely to enter partnerships at an early age, dissolve those relationships, have children outside marriage, and become themselves absent parents.

Fatherless children have a life expectancy that averages four years less than that of children with fathers present.

This Father's Day, let’s begin taking real steps toward affirming the essential role of both parents in children’s lives. Even in the absence of a spousal relationship, it should be clear that both mothers’ and fathers’ parental responsibilities to their children’s needs deserve full legal protection and recognition.

Edward Kruk is an associate professor of Social Work at the University of British Columbia.

This is the economic cost of raising a child today. If you don't have a spirit of sacrifice in your heart, you won't be able to make it as a parent nowadays.

Eric De Groot: Child Born in 2011 May Cost $234,900 to Raise, USDA Says: "Unfortunately, this most likely means more children raised by state and federal funds. While austerity backed by creditors looks good on paper, social reality has a nasty way of ensuring that the path of least resistance will be taken. That is, currency devaluation or QE to infinity until confidence breaks. Headline: Child Born in 2011 May Cost $234,900 to Raise, USDA Says"

A middle-income family may spend $234,900 to raise a child born in 2011 to the age of 18, a 3.5 percent increase in a year, according to a government report. Expenses for child care and education, transportation and food represented the biggest jumps, the U.S. Department of Agriculture said today in a report. Adjusted for anticipated inflation, a child in a middle-class family would cost $295,560 to raise, the department said. "It’s not just the cost, it’s the pressure,” said Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute based in New York. Competitive educational environments and an awareness of what it takes for children to succeed are prompting more spending, she said in a telephone interview.

Source: bloomberg.com 

'via Blog this'

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Here is an organization that does something to make the situation better. One of many I could name BTW, from Tony Dungy's All Pro Dads, to the prison ministry program Malachai Dads, to the many similar outreach programs run every day through various local church groups and community organizations.

from yahoo.com:
Father's Day in Prison | Photo Gallery - Yahoo! News:

"An annual Father's Day event, "Get On The Bus" brings children in California to visit their fathers in prison. Sixty percent of parents in state prison report being held over 100 miles (161 km) from their children. Regular prison visits lower rates of recidivism for the parent, and make the child better emotionally adjusted and less likely to become delinquent, according to The Center for Restorative Justice Works, the non-profit organization that runs the "Get on the Bus" program."

'via Blog this'

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Meanwhile, this is the response we get from leadership. Dude acts like he discovered the atom.
Clueless, totally clueless.

from americanthinker.com:
Articles: Doing the 'Fatherhood Buzz' with Barack Obama: "Just a few weeks after advocating for same-sex marriage, America's "first gay president" actually said that "It turns out that with the father being involved, the kids are less likely to do drugs ... girls are less likely to get pregnant. And so that message is something that we want to make sure gets out there."

Despite the well-meaning Father's Day effort, unless the President is open to either revising his current stance on gay marriage or changing the name of the "Fatherhood Buzz" to the "Personhood Buzz" or "Parenthood Buzz," it might be best if he sticks exclusively to unscheduled BBQ luncheons with "Big O" and Nurney and refrain from offering anymore unwanted advice."

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