BAN THE SOCCER FLOPPER and STEPHAN A. SMITH IS FOR THE BIRDS!!!

THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL - AND NO WHINING OR FAKING IN OUR OTHER SPORTS HERE!!!

Now that the USA has been eliminated, and my passion for the sport of soccer can go on another four year hiatus, I want to review some of my likes and dislikes of soccer.

DISLIKES: SOCCER FLOPPER

One of the enduring memories of the last match with Ghana was the sight of a Ghana defender writhing on the ground in agony after he fell unassisted to the ground late in the match. This was a blatant ploy to run out the clock as it took time for the referees to determine that he was in such agony that he required a makeshift stretcher to carry him off.

I maintain that here in the States, if that happened say in the NFL, it would be perfectly acceptable to me--and would actually written into the rules--that if ANY player were to perform that sort of planned fakery in order to win a game an opposing player would be allowed to come over and kick the player square in the nuts to give him something to actually be carried off the field for. NO HARM, NO FOUL = NO INJURY, NO STRETCHER.

If you delay the game like that and get carried off the field in a golf cart or a stretcher something better be wrong with your A$$. Sorry, but that's just how we roll here in the colonies.

I'm glad to see the USA coach agrees with me.




LIKES:

No commercial interruptions.

Enough said. A 90 minute game and at worst I only lose 90 minutes of my life that I'll never get back? How cool is that? I don't know how they'll market the game for US TV but that's not my problem. I mean, if NASCAR can cut away for commercials, so can soccer, right? It's not like the cars stop on the track when they cut away. I just worry that they'll cut away during the fake injury tom-foolery and I'll miss some real action.


Brazilian Soccer Fan

Enough said. Always a treat. Viva Brazil. Gratuitous perhaps, but true.

Brazilian Soccer Fan

See more funny pictures and videos at Fugly.

Brazilian Soccer Shirts

These are COOL!! I have one. I'm just glad my name doesn't translate into KAKA or something. Do you think he knows that, in English. his name sounds like what the l'il babies doo? I guess he does by now.

http://www.minimalsworld.net/BrazilName/brazilian.shtml


This article goes into how the Brazilian tradition may have started.

http://www.slate.com/id/2143404

Pele is easier on the tongue than Edison Arantes do Nascimento.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pel%C3%A9

PELE WAS TRULY A MAGICIAN WITH BALL - THE BABE RUTH OF SOCCER?

Maybe on the world stage, yes. While he gave soccer in the USA a real shot in the arm, he certainly didn't have the long-lasting effect on the sport in a foreign land that the Bambino had, let's say in Japan.




PELE DEBUTS WITH THE COSMOS.

Some of these highlights look cheesy by today's standards. Almost like watching Superstars or American Gladiators. God, do I feel old!!



MORE COSMOS HIGHLIGHTS



AND THE DRAMA OF PELE'S LAST GAME WITH THE COSMOS

Jim McKay closes with a near-weepy "Pele's number 10 will never be worn by another Cosmos player". True that, Jimbo. Unfortunately, not for the reasons envisioned. This was when soccer was going to be the sport of the 70's in America. He did do MUCH, MUCH more for the sport here in the States than David Beckham ever has.

Pele was THE MAN.

LOVE, LOVE LOVE, Indeed.

Classy man. This sport--really every sport--desperately needs more PELE's



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STEPHAN A. SMITH IS FOR THE BIRDS!!!

From the guy who was once quoted thusly.....

...“And when you look at the internet business, what’s dangerous about it is that people who are clearly unqualified get to disseminate their piece to the masses. I respect the journalism industry, and the fact of the matter is ...someone with no training should not be allowed to have any kind of format whatsoever to disseminate to the masses to the level which they can. They are not trained. Not experts. More important are the level of ethics and integrity that comes along with the quote-unqoute profession hasn’t been firmly established and entrenched in the minds of those who’ve been given that license…”

....comes the following pearls of metaphorical buffoonery:


Stephan A., in defending his reporting of the LeBron-Bosh-Wade dream team development, told local Chi-town radio jocks that if his sources were in error that he would, and I quote,

"Have crow on my face"

Now Stephan......I am certainly no expert in the journalism industry....which requires apparently massive amounts of formal training....but not even I--a somewhat pathetic blogger-- would ever mix the metaphors "eat crow" or "have egg on my face" in such an unprofessionally comedic way. Maybe it's your formal training...or your expertise in linguistics......that allows you to pull it off and produce such profound, bastardized metaphors. Maybe it's the ethics.....or the integrity.......

OR MAYBE IT'S THE CHEEZE DOODLES....

Now that was an exciting 1-0 soccer game

GOOD FOR LANDON DONOVAN, GOOD FOR U.S.A. SOCCER, GOOD FOR U.S.A.

"This team embodies what the American spirit is about," Donovan said. "We had a goal disallowed the other night, We had another good goal disallowed tonight. But we just keep going. And I think that's what people admire so much about Americans. And I'm damn proud."

I'm glad that FIFA and their cabal of evil referees who seem to feel it is their job to keep the Yanks from advancing, did not get their wish.

Blame it on the vuvuzela, or the goalie's HGF.....

OK, IT'S THE VUVZELA THAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE RIGHT?

Yankees ban vuvuzelas from stadium:

http://mlb.fanhouse.com/2010/06/17/vuvuzelas-banned-from-yankee-stadium/

Actually, a poll of virtually every other major league teams fans would reveal that most fans would prefer the "soothing" drone of the vuvuzela to the obnoxious emanations of the typical Yankee fan.

Scientists indicate that early research shows that the overwhelming majority of Bronx denizens are actually immunized from the harmful effects of mind-numbingly inane and obnoxious noise that would cripple the ears of those from other regions of the country due to the many years of having to listen to local bellowing of natives such as Mike Lupica, Howard Stern and Yankee broadcster John Sterling. To say nothing of the cacophony of civil sounds one hears on a leisurely jaunt down the streets of Manhattan most mornings.

EXHIBIT A:

JOHN STERLING YANKEES WIN CALL:



Sorry folks I still don't get it. We're going to ban vuvzelas from Yankee Stadium and that is going to lower the level of obnoxious behavior at Yankee Stadium? By Yankee fans? This where you choose to draw the line? Oh yeah, and iPad's.

OK, whatever. The vuvuzela or John Sterling? Which is more obnoxious? Seems like an easy call.

To me it sounds a bit like the French blaming their first loss on the vuvuzela. What, the French lost again to Mexico? They're 0-2 now? Well that goes to my theory that the French just suck. At more than just soccer, BTW.

At least go down like the Spaniards and the British, Pepe LePew. Blame the goalie's hot girlfriend. This girl is tailor made for TV. She asks her BF after the game, "How did you muck this up?". Well played, sister. Well played, indeed.

DISTRACTION?? OH, OUI, OUI MONSIEUR!!! VIVA LA DISTRACTION!!!



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/17/sara-carbonero-iker-casil_n_615832.html

Sara Carbonero, a beautiful sideline reporter and girlfriend of Spanish goalkeeper Iker Casillas, is being blamed by some fans for Spain's shocking World Cup loss to Switzerland on Wednesday.

The Guardian reports that the gorgeous sportscaster is accused of distracting her boyfriend by being so close to the field before and during the crucial match. Casillas allowed the game's only goal, and Spanish fans are worried that Carbonero could be to blame.

The Spanish beauty later shot back at critics, dismissing claims that she "destabilized the team" as "nonsense."

After the game, Carbonero interviewed her boyfriend and asked him about the team's unexpectedly lousy performance. On live TV, she asked her lover, "How did you muck this up?" (Video of the interview -- in Spanish -- is below.)

Spain's former coach also criticized the team after the surprising loss, telling reporters that the team didn't have "enough conviction" against the Swiss.

Casillas is not the only World Cup goalkeeper whose performance is said to have been affected by romantic complications. English goalie Robert Green may have been torn up by his split with a young lingerie model when he allowed an infamous goal to the United States.

So, English goalie Robert Green may have been torn up by his split with a young lingerie model when he allowed an infamous goal to the United States, you say? You think?

I guess I will never fully be able to understand the full range of factors that conspire to effect the performance of today's elite athlete.

Yes, I suppose a split with a young lingerie model could affect one's focus at just the most critical moment in a huge international match. Sort of makes the case for limiting oneself to dating the older, skankier lingerie models now doesn't it? At least until one's playing career is over. Note to self and play on, I guess. Right fellas?

In other sports news, the Lakers beat the Celtics to win the NBA championship. BFD. My apologies to Joe Biden.

Also, now that the Giants seem to have a semblance of an offense, they have crawled back into contention in the NL West.

The bad news is the Giants best player this side of Tim Lincecum, Pablo Sandoval, is now close to hitting his weight. The real problem with having said that is, Sandoval is currently hitting about .280 recently. Apparently, the Camp Panda effort at weight management is not working well for the Panda. The dilemma becomes, do Giants fans and management want to see Pablo return to his career average of .300 plus or lose weight and get in better shape? Stay tuned.

I'll bet this World Cup will have higher ratings......and why I hate soccer

A minute and a half and you get to see all the scoring.



Final score: U.S.A. Nil + 1, England Nil + 1.

And they left in the VUVUZELAS, which I love!!!!

SERIOUSLY, WHO DOESN'T LOVE THIS???

Oh, like we're any better over here in the States with our goofy thundersticks?

Or our annoying Cowbells? Right St Pete.?

Or how about those idiots that go to Little League games with jugs filled with coins and shake them all game long? If ever there is a case for justifiable homicide at a LL game, this is it. There's actually a site that shows you how to make these and other noisemakers.

I mean, how much of a retard do you have to be to need instructions to fill a 2-liter jug with coins and shake repeatedly?

THE HARD PART FOR MOST OF THE ROCKET SCIENTISTS MUST BE SQUEEZING ENOUGH COIN OUT OF THEIR PAYCHECKS TO FILL THE JUGS ENOUGH TO BUG THE CRAP OUT OF DECENT FOLKS WHO JUST WANT TO WATCH THEIR KIDS PLAY BASEBALL (OR SOFTBALL FOR THE YOUNG LADIES) IN PEACE!!!

Oh, you gotta love them.

So let's leave South Africa alone and let them enjoy their moment in the international spotlight for just a few minutes, PLEASE!!

Anyway, getting back to why I hate soccer.

I just can't get over the memory of the Monty Python skit where the sportscaster is reading the evening's soccer...er, football scores.

Yorskhire Nil, Worchtershire Nil.

Blackpool Nil, Liverpool Nil.

Man City Nil, Man United Nil.

Arsenal Nil, Chelsea Nil.

Sorry, but here across the pond, we play on to victory. To Sudden Death if necessary. We like our opponents beaten, not tied. And we like scoring, we like it a lot actually.

Pity, I couldn't find that skit. IT WAS A CLASSIC.

Speaking of which, without a doubt the most exciting football match (soccer, really) ever witnessed. Also courtesy of the Monty Python crew. Funny chaps.

It's only 3 1/2 minutes long, what have you got to lose, really? And don't act like you were sitting there splitting atoms, or researching a cure for cancer. You're on my blog.

GERMANY VS. GREECE - PHILOSOPHY FOOTBALL ( SOCCER, REALLY ) FROM MONTY PYTHON



CLASSIC!!!!

I TELL YA' I HATE SOCCER, EXCEPT FOR THESE TWO EXAMPLES