Do nice guys finish last?

Does valuing kindness mean you are destined to be a loser in life?
Does the term "nice guys finish last" have any real-life validity?
How about "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" (i.e. acting selfishly or in a self-centered manner)

Recent research by Cal Berkeley psychologists led by Dacher Kelnter suggests otherwise.

http://thesituationist.wordpress.com/2009/12/09/the-situation-of-kindness/

Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley, are challenging long-held beliefs that human beings are wired to be selfish. In a wide range of studies, social scientists are amassing a growing body of evidence to show we are evolving to become more compassionate and collaborative in our quest to survive and thrive.

In contrast to “every man for himself” interpretations of Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection, Dacher Keltner, a UC Berkeley psychologist and author of “Born to be Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life,” and his fellow social scientists are building the case that humans are successful as a species precisely because of our nurturing, altruistic and compassionate traits.

They call it “survival of the kindest.”

“Because of our very vulnerable offspring, the fundamental task for human survival and gene replication is to take care of others,” said Keltner, co-director of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. “Human beings have survived as a species because we have evolved the capacities to care for those in need and to cooperate. As Darwin long ago surmised, sympathy is our strongest instinct.”

According to Keltner, this turns the table on the "every man for himself" belief of the Darwinian theory of evolution by natural selection. He makes the case that humans thrive as a species because of our tendency toward kindness, compassion and altruism.

Cal Berkley colleague Robb Willer posits that the more generous you are, the more respect you get. It makes "survival of the fittest" seem like it may have some explaining to do.

While studies show that bonding and making social connections can make for a healthier, more meaningful life, the larger question some UC Berkeley researchers are asking is, “How do these traits ensure our survival and raise our status among our peers?”

One answer, according to UC Berkeley social psychologist and sociologist Robb Willer is that the more generous we are, the more respect and influence we wield. In one recent study, Willer and his team gave participants each a modest amount of cash and directed them to play games of varying complexity that would benefit the “public good.” The results, published in the journal American Sociological Review, showed that participants who acted more generously received more gifts, respect and cooperation from their peers and wielded more influence over them.

“The findings suggest that anyone who acts only in his or her narrow self-interest will be shunned, disrespected, even hated,” Willer said. “But those who behave generously with others are held in high esteem by their peers and thus rise in status.”

“Given how much is to be gained through generosity, social scientists increasingly wonder less why people are ever generous and more why they are ever selfish,” he added.

But wait there's more:

As a result of his work, Willer concludes further that people tend to behave more generously when they themselves had been the recipient of acts of kindness, i.e. altruism can be contagious and spread virally. People tend to "pay forward" favors received from others in the past. He refers to it as "generalized reciprocity" which is really so like a Cal-Berkley professor now isn't it?

Willer's research work centers around resolving how social order is possible among individuals who are tempted to behave selfishly within the society, the so-called "free-rider" problem. Willer believes this is overcome by the enhanced social status achieved by those who contribute to the public good overall, i.e. those who are not self-centered.

Sounds like values you hear promoted in church every Sunday, but if it's confirmed by Cal-Berkeley professors then it must be great practice, right?

While we're confirming some long tried and true maxims, let's explode one or too while we're at it. Along with "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" one of the most oft-repeated sports cliches is "nice guys finish last". But is this true?

According wikipedia, Leo Durocher may not have even uttered the immortal line that has led some to justify borderline behavior in sports in the name of winning. How many athletes over the years have justified boorish on-field behavior by using the "nice guys finish last" logic? How many old school athletes and players nodded their heads and used this logic as justification to push the envelope of bad sportsmanship further and further?

And it turns out he may never have even said the words.

According to wikipedia:

In a July 6, 1946 interview with Red Barber, Durocher had been commenting on the common belief at the time that if a team's players got along well, they would naturally play better than teams with difficult or irascible players; noting some of the players on the Giants who had reputations as personable individuals, notably Mel Ott, he observed that they were all "nice guys", but would nonetheless finish last (while his Dodgers were in first place), summing up his argument with, "Nice guys; finish last." Durocher later noted that the remark was quoted accurately in the published interview, but came to take on a different meaning when some incorrectly thought he meant that such a team would finish last because it included "nice guys", when in fact he had meant that there was no correlation (and in fact, saw it more as an ironic situation) between the personalities on a team and their level of play. (See 1966 Chicago Cubs, below.) Thus the quote "Nice guys finish last" has long been attributed to Durocher, including an entry in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations. Many historians assert, however, that the famous four words never were actually uttered by Durocher; the quotation as it is remembered actually came from headline writers distilling Durocher's quote that "The nice guys are all over there, in seventh place, not in this dugout" into a pithy soundbite.[1]

The quote actually has become an accepted truism to explain away boorish behavior and bad decision making in the young adult dating realm, but hey this is a sports blog and I don't want to stray too far off the reservation. But seriously, how many guys lament losing a relationship due to being "too nice" or "too kind" with the words "nice guys finish last" instead of "patience is a virtue"? Probably like, all of them?

By the way, I'm pretty sure that Lombardi distanced himself from the "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing" quote. But we see the damage that's been done by it's repeating by a generation of coaches enamored with the results of the NFL legend.

Anyway, me finding wisdom and something I can embrace emanating from Cal-Berkeley, long standing sports myths exploded before my eyes--it's been a long day. Enjoy.


<"( );::::::;~ C'mon B, the fireplace awaits. --------

KINDNESS - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. - Ephesians 3:32

Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you. - Isaiah 54:10